A reflection on the first two days of Spring Semester

Because I can already tell how the rest of the week is gonna go.

Basically I'm a crazy person for having such a busy schedule, but I really don't have too much of a choice. The classes I'm taking are either necessary for my major and minors, or they are necessary for the honors college. Besides that, I'm going to the gym almost every morning, and working almost every day, as well as playing soccer two or three nights a week once the season starts, and also doing a leadership program some Wednesday nights. Plus homework and social things. Hopefully I don't explode.

The thing is, I know I did this to myself. I technically don't have to play soccer or work so much but I want to. I have always needed to keep myself busy so I don't procrastinate on homework or anything else. And I love the things I'm doing! Pretty soon for work I'm going to be going out and collecting soil samples from a town on Long Island, in order to do lead testing on them. That's the kind of field-work I want to be doing, and I'm excited about it. And I can't wait for soccer, I love playing and everyone on the team is great. I'm even excited about most of my classes, despite the fact that I'm scared shitless of my economics professor.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is this: I wish I had the time and brain capacity to focus on just one thing at a time, and be really devoted to it.  For example: I want to do a really fantastic job on my sustainability project this semester, because I love the topic and I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to do. It's a long-term thing, though. I won't be able to cram it into a week, and I don't want to. The thing is, the little free time I have will be filled with reading for my honors classes or economics or geology. I'm afraid I'll have to keep pushing the project back until it's way too late to do a good job. It seems like one tiny semester is not enough for all the things I want to accomplish.

So I guess that's my dilemma for the day.

Here is a penguin.

I painted this for my boyfriend, and I figured since it had to do with both art and sustainability (you know, since the ice caps are melting), I'd post it here.  Enjoy!

I returned to work today, after a month's vacation.

So why not write about it?

If you don't know, I work for my Sustainability professor.  I do research for him, finding information on the internet to make into graphs and charts and tables for his in-progress textbook.  Today I focused a lot on water, in New York especially.  Looked at some pictures of the watershed, and the way water moves around to the city.  After several distractions, I got pretty productive and made several Microsoft Excel files with information on water and other things.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this... It seems really boring the way I wrote it.  The work itself is a bit tedious, but it's nice that I get to read about sustainability for a few hours a day.  It's good for me.

I've learned some things about myself through this though.  I'm not meant to work in an office.  All my inspirations and ideas involve me doing things.  I wanna be out there in the field, figuring out sustainable agriculture, or out on a boat, restocking the blue fin tuna population.  Maybe I'm too swayed by pride, but doing these things would make me feel good about myself, and about my mission.  I want to pioneer a movement, even though I know I'll face obstacles.  Maybe I dream too big.  Maybe I need to be a little more realistic, or make my aspirations a little more specific.  But I have time for all that.

This turned out to be a bit of a rant, but oh well.

I need some inspiration.  Time to be creative, maybe do some art.

Oh, and I bought a recycled notebook today as well.  It's the little things.

Random Thoughts Late at Night

I'm so freaking tired right now, but I wanna write about this great idea.

It's late, it's technically tomorrow, and I should be sleeping.  But I'm not, so why not write a blog post?  The other day I was sitting on the couch, watching TV.  The couch is where some of my least productive thinking occurs, because I am generally completely tuned out to the world, eating, or thinking about eating.  However, this time was different.  It had to do with the show I was watching-- Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  It's such an inspiring show because it's real, and helpful, and everyone who gets a home built for them is so grateful and really deserves a second chance in life.  I was enjoying the big reveal of the house when I was struck with inspiration.  What if ABC decided to make an Extreme Makeover: Sustainable Home Edition?  I could coordinate it, of course, but the key would be advertisement and broadcast of the sustainable materials used.  Ty could sell it, he's great at being sentimental.  I'm way too exhausted to go into details now, but I will!  Soon!

Okay goodnight internet.

Ha!

I dyed my hair today.

Not that this has anything to do with art OR sustainability.  Well maybe it has a little to do with art-- artistic expression and all that.  It's just one streak of red with purple at the end, and is on the underside of my hair and is therefore very concealable.  I felt daring, at least.  I never do spontaneous things like dying my hair, or starting a blog, for that matter.

The funny thing about all this is it has absolutely nothing to do with the new year.  Happy 2013, by the way.  No, this blog and my decision to bleach the shit out of my hair and then make it candy-colored are not my versions of new year's resolutions.  I'm at a time in my life (college) where I can do these things.  I'm not going to be getting a full-time job in the near future, so no one will care about the abnormal streak in my hair. My dad told me that he'd rather I change my hair color than get tattoos or strange piercings or addicted to drugs, so I don't have to face judgement from my family.  And no one at school really gives a fuck what everyone else is doing.  It's college.  As far as starting a blog, my thought about it is: why not?  Who's going to read it? Probably no one except my wonderful boyfriend Rob.  But who cares?  If no one is reading it, I don't have to be self-conscious about writing it.  I guess it's like a diary, except you don't hide it away.  You leave it out and when someone reads it, you don't get pissed.  You just get this little flutter of joy that someone out there cares what you have to say.  Of course, it could be a thirteen-year-old boy who stumbled upon your blog when he mis-typed the URL of his favorite porn site, but who knows.  It could also be someone looking for the next big internet celebrity.  I'm going to just see how it plays out.

I've thought a bit more about where I want to go with this blog.  Most of this "thinking" has occurred in the past ten minutes, while writing this post.  I may post some pictures of art.  My art, or art that inspires me.  I'm also going to do some research, I think.  I'm a sustainability major, so I've already done some research, but I'm going to do a bunch more.  I really want to help save the world, and rather than just write about the things that I should do, I'm actually going to DO them, and write about what I've DONE.  I'm a firm believer that humans are creatures that rely on motivation of some kind.  Rather than act solely with the motivation that I should morally be doing things to save the planet, I'll act with the motivation that I'm now obligated to write about the things that I've done, and should therefore do them in order to write about them.  Of course, this obligation is to myself, and is easily broken.  But I do like to keep the promises I make to myself, most of the time, so hopefully I'll follow through.